2 Things:

Aug. 11th, 2007 12:08 pm
gamiila: (Default)
One good:

My clothes are definitely starting to fit me better. I'm not quite down a size yet, but my belly has lost its tendency to bulge over my waistband, which makes me very, very happy. I'm also feeling much better in my skin.

One bad:

My sciatica is playing up again. To sit is an agony, to stand slightly less so, and to move an activity to be avoided at all cost. It's my own fault: I ignored early warning signs, and now it's the weekend, and I am out of painkillers. Woe.
gamiila: (Default)
This morning, the pain was worse than it had been over the last few days. Big fat tears were rolling down my cheek as I got to the doctor's office. When I told the doctor I was going to go away tomorrow, she sprung into action immediately. Apart from prescribing me some heavy duty painkillers and muscle-relaxants, she got on the phone to a physiotherapist and begged him to see me straightaway as an emergency patient. He's done something to loosen up my pelvis and I'm feeling a lot better now; walking is not quite such a painful experience as it was an hour ago, and he's asked me to come back again at the end of the day for some more bending and stretching and manipulation, all in an effort to get me onto that plane tomorrow with a minimum of discomfort.

Sitting down is still a problem though, so I don't expect to be back here at my computer for the rest of the day.
gamiila: (Default)
Doctor can't see me until tomorrow 9am. "Take a paracetamol", the secretary advised. TAKE A PARACETAMOL?! Would I ring if I could take a bloody paracetamol? What is it with Dutch GPs? They don't have open surgery, they're never on nights or weekend duty, they don't do housecalls, and they can't just write me a prescription when I ask for one, but insist on seeing me first? Don't they have a fucking duty to help those in need when they ask for it?

So, I've got 23 more hours of excruciating pain to get through -- however will I fill my time? I know, I'll try and do my taxes. They were due April 1st, but I got hopelessly confused and then someone said "what are you worried about? as long as it's done by the end of the year, it'll be fine!" Maybe I should have questioned that remark more closely, but you know, taxes; not my favourite thing to be worrying my pretty little head about...I came home yesterday, and there was the dreaded blue envelope from the Inland Revenue. "First and final warning: do your tax assessment now (on my desk by next week) or face a 1000 euro fine, you slacker you!"

Would it be too early to conclude that today is not shaping up to be a good day?
gamiila: (Default)
My sciatica is playing up again. It started yesterday afternoon, got worse last night, but after a long hot shower this morning, it seemed the worst of it was over. Wrong! By the time I got to the office, I could barely walk. I gave up trying to put in a good day's work after two hours, and came home. My back and leg are killing me, but I'm hoping that if I take it easy for the next few days, I'll have saved up enough energy to get me through the weekend. I'm not cancelling London, that's for sure.
gamiila: (Default)
My right hip hurts. The back of my right thigh hurts. My right knee hurts. My left ankle hurts. My left shoulder hurts. My left elbow hurts.

Other than that, I'm fine.
gamiila: (Default)
I saw the company doctor yesterday, despite the fact that I'd already returned to working fulltime. I still had a few questions/concerns re: my condition and it seemed easier just to have her answer them rather than make another appointment with my GPs, who have given up open surgery from January 1st. Anyway, I now have a better understanding of what sciatica is: it's actually the muscles in your lower back seizing up and trapping the sciatic nerve between them, so nothing to do with disks or spine. Somehow, this newly gained knowledge made me feel better, though I can't exactly explain why. Also, the weakness and numbness to the lower leg and foot is likely to affect me for at least a month or two more, but I shouldn't let it stand in the way of me taking exercise.

Because I need to exercise. I need to take up a sport. "You're still young, you can and should do it now, and you need to get back in shape", she said. I know, I said, but when have I got time to indulge in any sports? Well, we have a gym right here, she said, you could come down and exercise on the machines for an hour every day. I told her Jobsworth wouldn't allow it, and that's true, he wouldn't. Then she suggested I take up running in my lunchbreak. Me! Running! With my history of injury to my locomotive system?

I tried running once, at the suggestion and in the company of one of my physiotherapists. I tripped over a dog backwards and gave myself a whiplash.

Still, she is right: I really have to start doing something to get fit soon, or reconcile myself to the idea of living out the rest of my days as a disgustingly fat slob. I've taken to wearing shapeless clothes again; this is never a good sign.
gamiila: (Default)
I went back to work today, but it soon became apparent that I'd bitten off more than I could chew: I'm not up to travelling 2 hours, sitting at a desk for 8, and then travelling back another 2, so after conferring with the company doctor, Jobsworth graciously allowed me to leave a couple of hours early. I think I'll go in only half days for the rest of the week, then try going back to full-time again next week.

But it was good to see my colleagues again, hear the gossip, and witness for myself the devastation that's been wrought by the latest round of redundancies. The day before I managed to trap my sciatic nerve simply by crossing my legs whilst sitting down to enjoy a coffee and a quiet read, 27 people had received the news that their services would no longer be required as of May 31st. Not surprisingly, quite a few of them have called in sick since then, and their empty desks serve as a stark reminder that really none of us are safe.


Mar. 11th, 2006 10:05 pm
gamiila: (Default)
Let's see: sore throat, runny nose, grit-filled eyes -- yup, I've got a head cold. Bleuggghh.

Consulted my GP again yesterday; apparently, I shouldn't expect the continued numbness to ease off any time soon, although ease off, it will, she said -- I just have to give it time. Meanwhile, I've got weeks of stumbling and literally tripping myself up to look forward to. Not happy at the prospect, but what can you do? Still, I suppose this means that I should be able to get back in heels some time before Christmas, and so won't have to donate them to the Salvation Army after all. Something to smile about, at least ;-).

Must make arrangements for my nephew to take care of my cats while I'm away...but do I declare my computer off-limits to him, or...? He's already messed up my Mum's with his games and chat sessions. Maybe I should make a back-up of my system, just in case. How does one go about doing that, by the way? (Yes, I know I work for a computer company, but we've got IT people taking care of our systems there).

Watched my director's cut special edition of Amadeus today. Was pleasantly surprised to note that the version that made it into the cinemas at the time was actually much better with those 4 or 5 restored scenes taken out: they hold up the story and really don't add anything of great dramatic value to it. Will be ff-ing through those scenes next time I view it.

Think I'll make myself a hot cocoa and go to bed in a vain attempt to fight off this cold...Oh, and I got two cards in the post, both from [livejournal.com profile] db2305. The reason she sent them was obvious: they both had a picture of shoes on them! BTW, did I mention I bought a new pair yesterday?


Mar. 9th, 2006 12:41 pm
gamiila: (Default)
The company doctor's office has finally gotten in touch with me and set up an appointment for March 21st, on the understanding that this appointment will be cancelled automatically if I start back at work before that date. Theoretically, that means I could take the whole of next week off too, but I've decided to make a fresh start on Monday, and left a message for Jobsworth to that effect. Hope I don't come to rue my decision, but I'm getting terribly bored doing nothing but housework all the time.

It's only 15 more days before I fly to England, and 16 before I'll be joining up with [livejournal.com profile] freakspawn, [livejournal.com profile] anonypooh and [livejournal.com profile] _mysteria_ to see Griffin House in concert in Coventry. He's very thoughtfully sent out an e-card that includes 3 tracks, and it can be sampled here: UK tour card.

And finally, [livejournal.com profile] autumn_whispers has set up a journal to carry all her excellent fanfic and original stories at Rainy Weekends. Check it out!
gamiila: (Default)
This morning, it has been alternately snowing and raining, and just now, a hailstorm has passed dropping hailstones of unusual size; so I opted to stay at home another day. Jobsworth rang demanding to know what I was playing at, why I wasn't at work, as he distinctly remembered my telling him I would need 2 weeks to recuperate and as of this morning, those 2 weeks were up. I told him I had said 'at least 2 weeks', and that I wasn't feeling up to the commute and the sitting at a desk 8 hours, 5 days a week yet. He next wanted to know what the company doctor had had to say about that, and when I told him I hadn't heard from the company doctor yet, he seemed to blame me for their failure to get in touch with me. I ought to have shown some initiative and called them on their laxity. Who, other than myself, he wanted to know, was monitoring my condition and assessing my fitness for a return to the job? I told him my GP was, to get him off my back, but of course my GP does nothing of the sort. He saw me 2 weeks ago, gave me some pills, and that was it. Anyway, formulating a plan to get the company doctor to confer with my GP, Jobsworth rang off. His parting shot had me slightly worried for a few minutes at the most, until I recalled my GP on an earlier occasion assuring me that he could not and would not reveal any information about my state of health to anyone, least of all company doctors, without receiving my written permission first.

So, how am I doing? Pretty well, I think. I'm definitely improving day by day. The scalding feeling is subsiding now as well, and the only thing that bothers me is my foot that still feels numb and just feels like a great big lump of ice stuck at the end of my leg, that doesn't always want to follow the instructions my brain gives it. However, I have no reason to assume that this will be a permanent condition. Give it a couple more weeks, and it should be fine. Well, that's what I'm hoping for, anyway.

What else? oh yes -- I've given up the hope of ever being slim again, and staying that way. Time was when I would come out of winter having put on a bit of weight around the thigh and belly area, and watching my intake for 6 weeks would sort me out for the rest of the warmer season. These days though, I seem to be putting weight on all over the place, not just belly and thigh, but boobs and stomach as well. Perhaps it's the age thing coming into it...I don't know; but the way I'm going, I shouldn't wonder if 10 years from now, I should be a size 20. I hope not, but like I said: I shouldn't wonder.

And although I'm pleased that Sian and Russell have won the sympathy vote (take that, Stewart Copeland!), I can't help feeling that the scousers were robbed last night in the Just The Two Of Us-finale.

Kill me now

Mar. 5th, 2006 03:45 pm
gamiila: (Default)
I've lost the will to live.

I can't wear heels! There's something wrong with my leg, the one that's been playing up lately. I don't know what it is exactly, it could have something to do with the continued numbness in the foot I suppose, but if I wear my heels, I keep tripping and falling over on them. I've just made a complete fool of myself walking through town like Naomi Campbell down a Vivienne Westwood catwalk.

My life is over. Kill me now.


Feb. 28th, 2006 03:18 pm
gamiila: (Default)
I'm walking unaided again!

Well, when I say 'walking', I mean it's more of a shuffling motion, but I'm sure it won't be long before I can take great big strides again...And sitting up (or down) is not such a problem anymore, either, as the pain in my hip and thigh is mostly gone. Now the only thing that worries me a little still is the continued numbness in my foot and the burning sensation in my calf which is really driving me mad -- you know how irritating a scald can be, don't you? Well, I've had what feels like a giant scald on my leg for 10 days now, and there's nothing can be done to soothe it as there is no scald. Just nerve pain; the kind, I would imagine, amputees are often reported as feeling. But let's not dwell on that; for the moment at least, let's be glad I'm getting back on my feet again!

Hang on, does that mean I'll have to go back to work tomorrow?

Also, another reason for feeling happy and upbeat today: it's [livejournal.com profile] mrmonkeybottoms's birthday!

gamiila: (Default)
...but it is extremely annoying nonetheless.

Feeling a bit better still, and giving in to a sudden craving for shrimp with my lunch, I dragged myself off to the shops. It wasn't easy manoeuvreing my crutches and shopping bag, but I managed to get my groceries in, and was looking forward to feasting on said seafood. Until, that is, unpacking, I realised: where are my shrimps?!

ETA: Yes, well...sorry about that outburst, new friends [livejournal.com profile] __kali__, [livejournal.com profile] synaesthete7, [livejournal.com profile] bunnirific, [livejournal.com profile] dawn_e_h, [livejournal.com profile] deadflowerss, [livejournal.com profile] elen_ancalima, [livejournal.com profile] frelling_tralk, [livejournal.com profile] laura_isaac, [livejournal.com profile] strangefrontier, and [livejournal.com profile] wide_ocean. Please don't let it put you off, although I feel it fair to warn you: I usually have less important observations to make. Welcome!
gamiila: (Default)
So -- how long is this sciatica-lark going to go on for? It's been a week and despite my having been on medication since last Tuesday, I don't feel as if any real improvement's set in yet -- except that I know "I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation". Those heavy duty painkillers have really made a difference, but as I keep forgetting to take them at regular intervals, every 9-10 hours or so I get an extremely rude awakening; and that's how I know that the underlying problem hasn't gone away.

Anyway, for the last two nights I've managed to decamp to the sofa and watch a bit of telly, in an effort to relieve the boredom, but if I'm honest I must admit that I might as well not have bothered. Just The Two Of Us is the best proof, if proof were needed, that a formula that works in one set of circumstances, doesn't necessarily have to do so in another. I enjoyed watching Strictly Come Dancing earlier this year, and even if there were a few candidates that couldn't dance very well, I could still appreciate their obvious effort to try to get it right -- but when it comes to singing, it's quite a different matter. None of the candidates, none, can sing; and points for trying -- no, it just doesn't work that way. They grate on the ear. And my remote is wonky.

Maybe the fact that the professionals are garnered from any and every genre makes it more difficult, too. I mean, how can they expect an opera singer to teach anyone to sing rock, or soul, or swing or c&w? It just makes for painful watching. None of the celebs has any kind of range to their voice; and the only one that wasn't afraid to belt out has already been eliminated. And rightly so, though I think Martin Fry's performance on the night was more of an embarrassment than hers. Fancy a singer not coming in on time or in the right key! Though I suppose I won't let it affect my opinion that The Lexicon Of Love is one of the best albums to have come out of the 80s.

I wish I hadn't read and re-read every book in the flat twice already...


Feb. 23rd, 2006 10:50 am
gamiila: (Default)
Feeling a little better today. The painkillers finally seem to have kicked in, and the pain in my leg has dulled to a throb. Still unpleasant, but at least I can start to move around a little. Which is just as well as I've got absolutely nothing in the larder...not that I have been eating the past few days, but the cats need their nosh and I really can't expect them to fast just because I do...

Living alone as I do -- it never bothers me; but it is a definite drawback when you're unable to get around, like last year with the ankle, and now with this sudden and excruciatingly painful onset of sciatica.


Feb. 19th, 2006 05:48 pm
gamiila: (Default)
Yesterday morning started pleasant and full of promise: the sun was shining, I was in a remarkably good mood, looking forward to finally getting to see Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, and I had just made myself a nice pot of coffee. I put on some music, sat down, grabbed a magazine, turned to take a sip, and then two of my cats jumped up into my lap simultaneously. The pain has been excruciating ever since. I think I must have pulled a muscle in my lower back or something: I can't sit, I can barely stand, the whole outside of my right leg feels like it's on fire, my foot tingles and my buttock has clenched up painfully. I'm popping Nurofen like you wouldn't believe but it does little to dull the agony and I'm using my crutches again to get around. Though mostly I just stay in bed and stare at the ceiling. It doesn't hurt so much if I just stay still.

Tell you what, though: there's nothing like being bedridden to make you see how inadequate a housewife you are. How do those dustbunnies stay up there, I wonder?


gamiila: (Default)

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